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I was one of those nice indie rock girls, with the scene-approved haircut, wardrobe, cd library and required bag. The kind you see politely nodding their head up and down at shows but never dancing, standing a comfortable distance from the stage for fear that it might get a little rowdy. Another nameless, nondescript publishing or film assistant in the crowd. But that was a while ago. That was til Dick and Richie started smooth talkin me and turned my indie ass out I was out swingin with my boy Thumb Tack one night a couple of months ago, when I noticed these two fine playas from across the bar. I think it was Ritchie overheard me talkin about my latest side project when they sent another v&t down my way along with a shot glass filled with the malt. I lifted Thumb tack up to grab his drink, (which, from his dainitier perspective, looked full sized), tossed his ass back down and headed down the bar. "Whas up baby" To which Ritchie replied, "I heard you talking bout yo fine side project. I'm down with that, But whats your real gig." "Ain got one. You know, I'm in and out, here and there. I ain got time to commit to just one gig." And it worked for them, as its worked for me many times in the past yo! That's when Dick chimed in about his plans for pimp3, and after his tirade about "the man and the music industry," that's when they made me the offer. Dick and Ritchie knew the scene but saw from the get go that I was down with it in a way they never could be. I had the look to hang with the kids and the attitude of a true playa. All I would have to do is report the scene back for storage in something they kept referring to as "Ho'Bot." It was all about demographics and research they said as I yawned. What the hell was in this for me? That's when they threw in the perks, and the weekends at Slim Jimmys fly pad in big bad Baltimore. I was sold But I wasn't sellin cheap. I had to make my demands. I told em that I never travel alone. I filled em in about Thumb Tack, and while Dick didn't quite get the Midget thing right away, after some smooth talkin, I got my way, and Dick began to see just how useful little people are. And now I'm a dangerous hybrid. An Indie Rock Sista with Mad Pimp Style. I can talk the talk with any of those fluevog and barette wearin, clean cut indie rock kids any day. And when I'm kickin it with Richie and Dick back at the pimp3 compund, I get treated a lot better than those other bitches! I got my Belle and Sebastian on the Superfly tip! I got my boy, Thumb tack at my side and watchin my back all the time. And I got Dick and Ritchie sweating me for reviews cause I'm the only one of those bitches with any taste. And this ho aint payin to get into shows no mo'. Its on the Pimp3 now, yo! So here' the new gig. Dick and Ritchie turn me out, with Thumb Tack in tow, to hit the shows and spin the vinyl. Then I bring it all back for y'all to check out ('case you couldn't get your sorry asses there yourself or your bein tight with the bread). So I'll be comin to you on the regular, talkin bout the phat sounds and swinging scene, and looking for answers to those questions that I know have been keepin y'all up at night, like, "is musical taste somehow genetically linked to visual impairment?" and "…what the hell are those kids carrying in those big-ass bags?" Lata yo. |
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